


War of the Heart, War of the Mind

by heichoupunishment



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7057069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heichoupunishment/pseuds/heichoupunishment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes it got hard to breathe. Nate didn’t know if it was the lingering radiation, the chems, the depression, or some sort of shit cocktail of all three. He knew the junk was horrible for him, but it was a distraction. It stopped the thoughts. For a little while."</p><p>Prologue is v short.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_Prologue._ **

 

_War. War never changes._

    War of the heart, war of the mind. Nate still saw her, saw through small glimpses, through the determination of the Minutemen to the stubbornness of the Brotherhood of Steel. In microscopic flashes, he’d see Nora, the light and epitome of anything and everything good, shine through the cruelty of the Commonwealth.

                                                                                       And it fucking hurt.

    He’d try not to dwell on what life could have--should have--been. But it always creeped back up on him through paralyzing thoughts, sort of like an terminal illness carrying constant pain with the side effect of sorrow. The worst was when Nate would go back to Before, with the white picket fence, with Shaun, _with Nora_ , only to wake up and realize his own life was the nightmare.

    He knew Nora would be ashamed of the man he had become. But if she had somehow survived--though part of him knew he’d never want her to suffer through this ongoing hell--she would understand. The Commonwealth changes you. It takes everything good and rips it to shreds. And Nora was pure good.

    Sometimes it got hard to breathe. Nate didn’t know if it was the lingering radiation, the chems, the depression, or some sort of shit cocktail of all three. He knew the junk was horrible for him, but it was a distraction. It stopped the thoughts. For a little while. Piper confronted him about it often, saying stuff like, “Blue, that stuff can cost a lot more than you bargained for. And it looks like you’re rackin’ up quite a pile of debt.” Nate didn’t listen until after he helped Cait sober up and she slapped the Jet out of his palm screaming about how he was a “selfish asswipe that’ll never find his feckin’ son this way.”

                                                                                            He stopped.

                                                                                                      (...for a bit.)

     It wasn’t until he stumbled across the quaint friendly little town of Goodneighbor that the chem train choo choo’d right on back into Nate’s life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I fixed the formatting as it was giving me issues, I just find this way easier, my apologies.)
> 
> -e xX

**_Chapter 1._ **

 

It had been a long fucking day.

It was one of those days where everything just seemed determined to shit all over Nate’s very existence, as if the damned Commonwealth didn’t do that enough on a daily. After multiple not-so-subtle jabs from Diamond City’s kindest residents and Piper’s constant nagging, Nate decided to hunt for work and any possible clues of where his son might be. Three super deceased Super Mutants and one determined Radroach later, his muscles were practically howling. A quick huff of Jet and a prick of Psycho would have made the fight a hell of a lot easier, but Nate didn’t want to go through the trouble of suffering a certain reporter’s wrath...again. It was probably his fault for wandering into the Boston Common in broad daylight.

After catching his breath and shooting a stimpack into his arm, Nate trudged on, not really sure of what he was searching for. The Commonwealth had this way of leading Nate places he didn’t even know he wanted to go. Staying true to that ideal, a bright light flashed in the corner of Nate’s eye. His body tensed in panic, guessing that it might be a raider camp spotlight. The smell of rotting flesh lingered, a scent not uncommon on the soiled patches of ground that was once a thriving city. Turning his head to the source of the flashing light, he relaxed slightly when he realized it was just a damn sign. From the distance Nate was at, he could only make out the letter “G”. He swore years of being a cryogenic popsicle somehow made his vision turn to shit. But somehow, the Commonwealth wasn’t kind enough to leave behind his prescription. Maybe it was better this way, because if the world looked this revolting blurry, he probably wouldn’t prefer it clear.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Nate made an effort to move closer towards the light. When he inched forward, he could make out a giant arrow beckoning him right and what he guessed said “Godnerghbur” (odd name). Naturally, a normal human being would probably have turned around and gone back to safe territory, but those probably morphed into monsters too. So, with his laser rifle in one hand and his terror in the other, Nate stepped through the door to this Godnerghbur. However, all the chems in the world couldn’t prepare him for what came next.

 

* * *

 

“Hold up there. First time in Goodneighbor? Can’t go walking around without insurance.”

Oh fuck no.

Nate’s red flags went immediately up while his fist tightened on his weapon. He was torn between killing this asswipe right now and being in disbelief that he actually thought a name of a town in what used to be Massachusetts was “Godnerghbur.” He really needed to find some glasses. Rolling his eyes at the bald man in front of him, he quickly formed a sarcastic response.

“Unless it’s ‘keep-dumb-assholes-away-from-me’ insurance, I’m not interested,” Nate replied. Of course, this followed with the inevitable threat, and just as Nate was aiming his gun, a voice that somehow sounded like butter and gravel simultaneously piped up from the darkness.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Time out. Someone steps through the gate the first time, they’re a guest. You lay off that extortion crap,” the figure casually threatened. From the shadows, a red coat and a black hat appeared. The rest Nate couldn’t make out.

“What do you care? He ain’t one of us.”

Dick.

“No love for your mayor, Finn? I said let him go.”

 So this Redcoat was the mayor? Nate was surprised a dump like this had a mayor. Or a bathroom. He hoped this place was safe enough to stay in for the night, because he was tired as hell.

“You’re soft, Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day they’ll be a new mayor.” Ah, so there was the corruption and thirst for power Nate knew and loved. Nate watched as Redcoat, ah, Hancock (what a name) approached Captain Dickweed.

“Come on, man, this is me we’re talking about. Let me tell you something,” Hancock started to put his arm on Dickweed’s shoulder, but then gave two swift knife stabs to the shoulder, surprising Nate, “Now why’d you have to go and say that, huh? Breaking my heart over here. You all right, brother?”

Oh, shit. Nate struggled to think of something to say since he was guessing this Hancock guy had directed the question towards him. Nate had never been great with words, especially when someone paid him a kindness, and with good deeds being in short supply in the Commonwealth, his skills were even rustier than before. He examined his savior’s face, and was surprised at what his shitty eyesight allowed him to view. The face was dark, rough, and all around looked like a disaster. The funny thing was...it somehow wasn’t ugly. Quite the opposite. Quite the very opposite. This man seemed to be a walking contradiction.

“Uh..your face. Something...happen?” Smooth. Real smooth.

“Like it? I think it gives me a sexy, king of the zombies kinda look. Big hit with the ladies.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Even with crappy eyes, Nate wasn’t blind. Hancock went onto explain what a Ghoul was. Nate was familiar with Ghouls, but he never knew that there were non-feral ones. Before he could dwell on it further, a smooth talking Ghoul brought him out of his thoughts.

 “Goodneighbor’s of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone’s welcome.”

 Before Nate could say anything along the lines of “yes I would indeed like to feel you”, he gave a polite smile and strolled away casually. Or, what he tried to do casually, he ended up tripping over his own two feet and falling over a city guard.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xX

**Author's Note:**

> xX


End file.
